


Solace

by opalheart12



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/M, acts of service, affirmations, self-care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 08:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17824949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalheart12/pseuds/opalheart12
Summary: “Our brains can lie to us. They can distort the realities we experience and tell us that we are somehow...wrong, or off, or that we don’t belong. It feels real, it is real sometimes. But what is most important is that we take care of ourselves in those moments, that we seek any form of solace even when it feels like it takes everything inside us to do so.”Abbie is dealing with a depressive episode and Crane tries to help however he can.





	Solace

She hadn’t left her room in almost two days. Sure, there were bathroom breaks and the occasional snack here and there, but the bed had become her home. Crane had known her long enough to know when a depressive episode was on and was learning how to help her navigate it.

 

The room was a mess. It was the result of over a month of stress from her job and having little time to decompress before the next case came across her desk. The last one had been particularly difficult: a woman about her age had gone missing and no one reported it for nearly two weeks. She’d had no close friends and no family. It had been purely luck that her neighbor noticed the lights had been on for so long in the house. The woman had eventually been found a few miles away in a creek and there were few answers for how she’d ended up there.

 

“How could no one have noticed? How did no one care about her?” Abbie had asked when she was venting to Crane about it. “Why did no one think she was important?”

 

It was hard for her and Crane suspected it was all the more difficult because Abbie saw part of herself in the woman who’d been found. She saw the person she might have been if Jenny had never gotten out of the hospital, if she’d never met Crane, if she hadn’t allowed Frank to become one of her closest friends. It weighed heavily on her.

 

So, when Crane noticed it got harder and harder for Abbie to get out of the bed, he knew he needed to act.

 

Abbie was a surprisingly deep sleeper so he cleaned her room and bathroom from top to bottom while she was sleeping. He brought her laundry to the machine in the basement and made sure everything got put away. When all that was done he went to the kitchen and made her a turkey and gouda sandwich and a large mug of tea and brought it to her room. He set it on the nightstand and proceeded, very gently, to wake her up.

 

Her eyes fluttered open and he could see how tired she was beyond what sleep could readily fix. Slight confusion colored her expression as she began to sit up and groan. “Crane, what’s wrong?” She asked, sleep clinging tightly to her voice.

 

“I brought something for you to eat, Treasure. I thought it might do you some good.”

 

“Not hungry, Crane.” Abbie rolled her eyes and made to turn over but Crane’s hand on her shoulder stopped her.

 

“When last did you eat anything, Abbie?” He asked, his electric blue eyes searching her face for any sign of untruth.

 

Again, she shrugged. “I don’t know. Can you just let me go back to sleep?”

 

He took the plate from the nightstand and placed it in her lap. “Only if you eat something before you do.”

 

She glared at him as she took the first few bites of her sandwich. It subsided, but only just, when she drained the mug of tea he’d made for her. Afterward, she placed the plate on the nightstand and some of the bite was gone from her eyes.

 

“Thanks, Crane,” she said. “You didn’t have to do that.” Abbie was playing with her fingers now and her eyes were getting a little watery.

 

Crane reached over and stilled her hands by encasing them in his own. When she looked up at him he saw someone who was tired and hurting. “Your peace of mind is as important to me as my own. How could I rest knowing that you are hurting, Treasure?”

 

She brought his hands up to her mouth and kissed them softly. “Thank you.”

 

“What can I do to help you?” Crane asked after a moment of quiet had passed between them.

 

Abbie shrugged. “I don’t know. I just...I feel like I can’t shake this feeling. Everything feels like too much and I can’t figure out where I fit into...well, _anything_ really. I see myself in that girl and I think about how close I was to being someone like her. And I feel this...this loneliness that feels like it’s squeezing the _life_ out of me, like no matter who I’m around or what I do no one actually cares about me. It’s suffocating!”

 

She was openly crying now and Crane felt as if a sledgehammer had been taken to his heart. It hurt him deeply to see how much pain Abbie was feeling, how alone she felt even though he was right there trying his best to make sure she didn’t feel that way. But his feelings weren’t important right now. What _was_ important was affirming Abbie any way he could and making sure she felt loved in some way.

 

“Our brains can lie to us. They can distort the realities we experience and tell us that we are somehow...wrong, or off, or that we don’t belong. It feels real, it _is_ real sometimes. But what is most important is that we take care of ourselves in those moments, that we seek any form of solace even when it feels like it takes everything inside us to do so.” Crane replied as he looked at her. He held her hands firmly still. “So, I shall ask you: what, if anything, can I do to help you seek some form of solace right now?”

 

Abbie smiled just barely. “I need a shower. I probably smell like roadkill.”

 

“Doubtful, but point taken. To the shower we go.”

 

And so that was how, twenty minutes later, Abbie found herself leaning back against Crane’s chest in the shower while he washed her hair for her. His hands were careful and gentle as they made their way through her dark curls. It felt nice to not have to do this one thing.

 

When he was done, she stepped forward under the showerhead closest to her and rinsed her hair out. He helped her again with the conditioner and on they went.

 

The water was a step below scalding but that was alright. They washed in comfortable silence and Abbie felt, for the first time in weeks, that things might be okay again one day.

 

She elected to towel dry her hair and put it into a large halo twist before getting dressed in one of Crane’s old t-shirts and some tights. He was wearing his favorite flannel pajama pants and an old Blue Öyster Cult t-shirt Jenny had given him a few years back.

 

“Would you care to sit out on the porch swing with me, Treasure?” Crane asked as he pulled a sweater over his head. “The moon is quite lovely tonight.”

 

Abbie looked around the bedroom and noticed that Crane must have cleaned it at some point earlier in the day. She felt her heart swell at the sight. She could hardly put into words how much it meant to her that he’d done this.

 

Their romantic relationship was relatively new: they’d only been dating for about a year. But their friendship stretched far beyond that. There had been some bumps in the road early on but they’d worked through them and built enough trust and love for each other to last a lifetime.

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Crane met her out on the porch swing with blankets and snacks. She snuggled into his side and he pulled one arm around her, making her feel safe and calm. The only sounds to be heard were the creak of the swing as it moved back and forth and the sounds of insects and wildlife far off. The air was comfortably crisp and the wind soft and gentle.

 

“I want you to know, Treasure, that you matter to me. You are quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to my life. You are my best friend in the entire world. And I promise to do my best to make certain you never forget that.” Crane said after a while, his hand moving up and down her arm.

 

Abbie felt a warm feeling in her chest. And it was nice to feel _something_. Her depressive episodes often made her feel the sad side of numb and for someone who felt her emotions so viscerally, she hated that feeling. More often than she would ever care to admit, she felt like she was in a dark room that had no door and no window and no light. She’d felt like she was feeling her way around through crushing darkness and loneliness.

 

“Thank you, baby,” Abbie replied. “Thank you for helping me today.”

 

“Is there anything else I can do? Is there anything you need from me?”

 

Abbie sighed as another gentle gust of wind blew over her face. “I should probably find a therapist when I go back to work. I think...I think it would help me deal with what I’m feeling. And you’ve been amazing, Crane, truly amazing but...I don’t want to rely on you to be the only one helping me deal with this.”

 

Crane shifted them so he was on his back and she was laying on top of them. Both arms were around her now and his hands had come together at the small of her back. Her arms found themselves draped around his neck. He kissed her forehead gently and then pulled her up a little closer to him.

 

“Of course. If you would allow me, I would be happy to support you in finding one, Treasure.”

 

Abbie leaned up and kissed him soundly. “Thank you, baby. You’re amazing.”

 

“As are you,” he replied. “And I hope that in the midst of your darkest moments you never forget it.”


End file.
